You’d be unlikely to find a resident in New York who doesn’t have a terrifying apartment-related story worth filming. A city as old and overpopulated as this one is a breeding ground for shitty roommates, deteriorating buildings, and in the case of one NYC filmmaker, a bizarre landlord that rivals the one from The Resident.
In the case of NYC Filmmaker Brian Bolster, his landlord, Rita, wasn’t watching him through two-way mirrors and peepholes (that we know of), but she was keeping close tabs on him and his roommate. So, he turned the camera on himself to document the all too common occurrence of “when a one-year lease feels like a one-year sentence.”
The 11-minute video One Year Lease begins with a recording of Rita offering to feed Brian and his roommate Thomas’ cat Casper.
“Hello Brian this is Rita, your new landlord, we just signed the leases together. I would like to make a suggestion. Why don’t I feed casper the ghost? Casper the ghost? (she mumbles to herself) Why Don’t I feed Casper? Okay? I’m willing to do it. I know how to take care of a cat. To change their litter box and all that jazz. I’m willing to do it for you while you and your roommate are out of town. Cat Lover! Now I hope I have the right young man. Okay thank you.”
Unfortunately for the cat lover, Brian and Thomas ask their friend to watch Casper instead, which made Rita very upset.
“Hi Brian this is Rita. One more thing. Casper was crying. He’s in there in the dark. Total darkness. Are you sure that your friend is feeding Casper? I’m upset. I’m very upset for Casper. He was crying and crying. He’s in total, total darkness. It’s not fair that he should be in total darkness and crying. And I hope that your friend is feeding casper. I’m-I’m very upset, Brain. Terribly upset.”
In case you’re as worried as Rita, the cat was indeed fed. Here’s another fun fact: Cats can see in the dark too. But Rita, however, seemed to have another reason for her beef with Casper’s temporary caretaker.
“Hello Thomas, this is Rita. I’m very angry. I’m holding your mail, alright? I have five envelops here and I do not want to be responsible for your mail. I want it out of my possession. Now somebody snuck back into the apartment. I wasn’t born yesterday. Alright? They refused to open the door, acting childish, like a spoiled brat. Okay, I’ve had it now. All I want to do is leave the mail in the apartment with the person that is feeding the-the Casper. Evidentially, it’s the cat sitter. I don’t know. Or it’s you or Brian. I don’t know. But I do not want to be held responsible with your mail. Alright? Okay? I have nothing against the cat. That’s why I prefer cats over people. Casper’s innocent. He’s like all poor animals. But I have important mail for you. Am I asking for the world?”
She may not be asking for the world, but in another message she asks if Thomas and Brian have any pots and pans they want to get rid of because she’s not ashamed to take them. Later in the video, she reaffirms her shameless begging when she solicits them late at night for a paper shredder they “might” be throwing away. Why she needs it, one can only imagine. Perhaps to shred the leases of past tenants gone missing?
Watch the video above for the full recount of this horrifying situation. NYC renters rejoice!