My name is Cody and I’m….addicted to my phone. 

Hi there.  Welcome.  I’m glad you made it.  You are addicted to your phone and you are ready to make a change.  But not in the same aimless way you are trying to break that drinking habit.  No, this time you are serious, because God knows you’ve tried before and simply telling yourself no doesn’t really work.  Our hands tend to just pull that thing out and get on it before our brain even registers what is going on.

“I shouldn’t do this, but, you know, it’s a release and I deserve it.”

If you don’t think you are addicted to your phone or you think you are pretty good about keeping your phone down, you should download this app called Moment.  It tracks how much time you spend on your phone.  Warning, the results will probably surprise you.  It hurts.  It hurts real bad.

Also, if you dowloaded that app and were happy with the results (meaning, you don’t use your phone all that much), this awesomely depressive article by the The Globe and Mail which talks about how your phone is “making you stupid, antisocial, and unhealthy” might still give you reasons to read this article anyway.  

Okay, glad we got the rough stuff out of the way.  But also glad it helped solidify your decision to make a change.  An article at USA Today gave some tips on how to kick the habit but for those sick of links, let me lay it down for you.

Here’s what you can do:

Take The Color Out of The Phone

The pretty colors on your phone are like a beacon to your psyche.  They evoke certain emotions and thoughts, provide a quick shot of dopamine (or at least are the symbol for apps that do)—and they are designed this way!  So to best those pesky programers change your phone to grayscale (Grayscale is a cool way of saying black and white). Think about this: Would you rather watch I Love Lucy or Frasier?  That’s what I thought.

Oh wait, you said both shows suck.  Well shit, fill in your own damn examples.

Create A No Phone Zone

This one is easy, get your phone out of your sights!  Stop that automatic hand of yours.  Put it on “Do Not Disturb” mode, stick it in a drawer, and go about your life.  Especially if you are in your home, this one shouldn’t be difficult.

Lock It Away

Okay, if the no phone zone isn’t working for you, you might need to take more drastic measures.  You can buy an inexpensive home safe with a timer.  Simply set a timer, press a button, and BAM! That phone is gone!  Good riddance.  (If you do try this one and get murdered because you couldn’t get to your phone to call for help then please don’t come back to haunt me.  You are the one with the addiction!  I’m just trying to help.). I found this thing on Amazon.   If you have no desire to buy it, I would still take a look, the images are funny–the product certainly wasn’t made for this, but since that’s what it’s being used for, they are embracing it.  

So this is what it has come to.

Use an App

Yes, leave it to technology to help you get away from technology.  There are apps that will lock you out of your phone for the amount of time you specify and some even send a personalized text message (go ahead, get creative) to anyone who tries to reach you.  You can also find other apps that will block access to specific apps and websites (from personal experience, these don’t do much good because there is always another website you can find—but sometimes all you need is a reminder to get off your phone and it helps for that).  If you already downloaded the Moment app from above, that, too, has some restriction settings as well. 

This is how you will feel once you kick that habit. (Please ignore the fact that she has a phone in her hand)

Ah.  That wasn’t that bad.  Give a go, see if it changes your life in any way.  If none of these tips help, then I’m sure you can find a support group online. 

Bonus Tip

Use this article as evidence to your girlfriend or boyfriend that you had good reason for not texting them back!  You’re welcome.

Cover Photo by http://rawpixel.com

Beer Photo by Joel Barwick

Jumping Photo by Sebastian Voortman